Sex Ed for New Parents

From the moment we are born we begin to make sense of the world around us.

We take our first breath of air, experience human touch, bond together, and interact with the physical world. This process invariably includes gaining awareness of bodies, relationships, and eventually, sexuality.

I’d like us to imagine a world where children are born into families and communities who support them from the very beginning in understanding their body, others’ bodies, touch, body boundaries, and sexuality.

What would it look like for a community to send the message: “Welcome to the world! We are here to help you take care of your body, communicate about your body, relate to others’ bodies, and make sense of how sexuality shows up in our society.”

It might seem early but expecting parents who join my parenting classes do just that. There is a growing community of parents and caregivers who are committed to raising educated, empowered, and supported kids.

In 2011 I worked in a teen clinic where high school students accessed sexual health services. Back then, there were very few children’s books and only the early stages of websites aimed at providing developmentally-relevant sex ed information to kids and teens.

In the past ten years, there has been remarkable progress in the quality and accessibility of sexuality education resources. Parents of young kids today are fortunate to have access to a treasure trove of resources that support their kids’ learning and development.

It’s time to take advantage of these resources.

Whether you are expecting, caring for a newborn, or raising a toddler, your community benefits when you start conversations about these topics.

Here are a few action items to get you started:

#1 Ask ALL caregivers in your child’s life to use correct terms during diaper changes, while potty training, and when discussing genitals. 

Go start conversations with grandparents, nannies, babysitters, and family friends about using correct terms when referring to genitals. You can use the terms penis, scrotum, testicles, urethra, vulva, clitoris, vagina, and labia. If I were to ask you what each term means, could you tell me? There’s no shame in not knowing but find out what they mean so you can educate your kids. Words matter; say what you mean in conversations with your child.

#2 Get a few books to read with your child. 

There are so many incredible books out there and more are on the way.

Here are a few recommendations to begin with: Your Whole Body by Lizzie DeYoung Charbonneau does a great job at explaining genital anatomy and function. The Science of Babies by Deborah Roffman helps in conversations about conception, pregnancy, and birth. Yes! No! A First Conversation about Consent by Jessica Ralli outlines the basics needed to set body boundaries.

#3 Hang a body safety rules poster where adults and kids can see it. 

Posters can help you start conversations within your community about how we all share the responsibility of protecting children from unwanted touch and sexual assault.

These conversations are opportunities to protect your children as well as empower other children in your community to set boundaries and reach out for support if they experience unwanted touch or sexual abuse. It is important to talk with both grownups and kids because some kids don’t grow up within communities that openly communicate about these topics. 

Many adults did not grow up within communities who respected the bodily autonomy of kids. Even if you grew up in a community where you were expected to kiss, hug, or touch adults or other kids when you did not want to, you can create a new culture within your own community. There are plenty of ways for grownups and kids to express love and appreciation for one another: saying loving words aloud, doing a fun activity together, or other types of physical affection like high fives, blowing a kiss, or creating a unique handshake. 

If you feel uncomfortable bringing these topics up, I encourage you to reach out to others for support. Adults, not kids, are responsible for starting these conversations.

Check out Educate2Empower’s free printable posters that outline body safety rules.

#4 Seek out sex education classes.

Many parents I work with want to educate their child about these topics but have no idea what to say. If you struggle to bring up this topic on your own or if you fear saying too much too soon, you can join a sex education class to get ready to talk with your kids.

This spring I published a comprehensive self-paced course called The Early Years. This course prepares parents and caregivers to educate 0-7 year olds about bodies, relationships, and sexuality. Join the course and get conversations started in your community today.

Blogpost originally posted on Friday, April 25th, 2025. Images from Trendify on Canva.